So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
