his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This baby is an asshole
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The air was thick with penises
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
