Welp...herpes.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
