i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
