5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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