Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
