Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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