I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
