This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
