I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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