There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
