he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I skipped work to stalk him.
i will never coherently bang her
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
