seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
