I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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