walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
