bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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