the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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