K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
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you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
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I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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