Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
