Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
