So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We have started to decorate penises.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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