Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
