Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
