is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
