So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
