the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
