just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
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Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
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Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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