it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
two words: eviction party
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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