I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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