Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
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i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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