Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
