that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
