is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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