i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
