Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
