Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
