you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
