My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
