i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
