My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
