I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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