Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize