can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
