She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
