New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
