i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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