I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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