Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
