apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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