You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
