Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
