where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
