Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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