I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
