I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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