i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
